Grumpy Coffee

“You come in 3 to 5 minutes late to every meeting. You bring a fresh coffee. You sit down without saying a word to anyone. What message do you think that sends?”

A talented leader, new to a team that had been neglected and poorly led for years was having significant challenges with one of her senior staff. He didn’t seem to be on side, but also wasn’t contributing to decisions and discussions. The new leader has injected a bunch of care and support into the team, but she’s also brought a much higher standard of accountability. It’s better and it’s confronting.

When the new leader started the conversation above (in private) the initial reaction was defensive. But after a while it got around to exploring the impact of the senior staff's seemingly inconsequential actions. Ultimately, they explored shared responsibility for creating a more cohesive and effective environment for the team.

Notice how specific her feedback is. 100% clarity. What’s less evident in print is how the question was asked. It was asked in a genuinely curious way - no accusation, no blame. 

Since then, she's backed it up with several observations about changed behaviour and positive team impact that the other leader is now having. He’d never thought about his role in that way before. That short conversation has a massive, enduring, positive impact. I’m imagining he’s enjoying his work more, and his team will certainly be enjoying his presence more.

Better feedback makes better teams. How could you improve your ability to ask for and give great feedback? 

Force won’t fix it

A while ago, I was doing a maintenance job on my motorbike. When trying to re-fit the front axle it wouldn’t slide through without a bit of force. As the saying goes, ”If at first it doesn’t fit, get a bigger hammer.” I got one and in return I got some damaged parts. My bigger hammer made a bigger problem.

The situation came to mind when I was talking to a leader about the performance of his team. According to him, they are not bad, but the general standard of their work is a bit lackadaisical. In attempting to lift the standard, all his tactics are about more force. Some of what he told me:

• He expresses anger and/or disappointment at the current standard of work (Understandable by the way, it costs him $$ when work is not on point)

• He plays people off against each other

• He makes thinly veiled threats about people losing their job

• He demands longer work hours to make up for the perceived shortcomings

• He constantly reminds people of policies and procedures

• He is looking over people’s shoulders all the time

• He never thanks people for anything (Why should I thank them for doing the job they are paid to do, especially if they are not doing it well? he asked)

I asked him how that approach was working for him.

“I think it’s getting worse,: he said. People don’t take responsibility and blame others/circumstances for their results. Like me with my axle bolt, I understand his frustration, but I’m not surprised.

In an environment where high results/standards are expected, but people don’t feel psychologically safe, the dominant feeling is anxiety. People will do almost anything to avoid attention and cover their butts. More force adds to the problem, making it harder and longer to fix.

Next time we’ll look at some of what he can do to reverse the current situation and build

Psychological safety as well as the performance standard.

Why can’t we just talk openly?

A new CEO asked this question of his senior staff, one of whom I’m coaching at the moment. His belief is that people should be able to raise issues and talk openly about them with each other. But people don’t. Simply saying that they should, regardless of good intent, won’t change people’s minds.

There’s been a history in the organisation of people raising issues and experiencing significant backlash. There’s been people actively working to boost their reputation while tearing others down. There's been gossip and blame. People are accustomed to bad outcomes when they speak openly about problems. There’s nothing in recent history that suggests doing so would be good or safe.

To change that will take more than words. It will take building trust and psychological safety. That will likely mean starting with relatively small and inconsequential pieces and building up to the bigger stuff. It will take some courage and accountability.

All that can be achieved reasonably quickly, but simply saying it won’t make it so.